Like the stone thrown into the calm, still water, the effects of a suicide can spread slowly, but grow larger, encompassing all those who have come into contact with our loved one.
For me,I am forever linked to the husband of a close friend who I called to help me find Greg after I found his note. He gave me strength that day in his own calm, supportive way - even though I felt how difficult this task was for him. He didn't shirk it, he held me and I sank into him, desolate. In the intervening months he has fought his own demons about that day and has come through, knowing how much he supported me, knowing that he has a quiet strength that is rarely found. His wife did too, just being there and comforting our children.
I have felt guilty yet grateful to them both.
In the aftermath, I wrote to the station master and the ambulance officers who looked after Greg when I no longer could. I apologised, and explained about Greg's illness. I hoped they'd understand. Two policewomen were also at the scene, took control, were non-judgemental and gentle, efficient and effective.So young. How could this not affect them as well. I go over my conversations with the Snr Constable again and again...did I thank them? I hope so. How many more letters do I need to write, to explain, to convey my thanks for bringing us through that nightmare. I hope our friends who stayed with us on that day and the following days know that I appreciated their presence, and if I haven't said it before, I'll say it now.
Thank you.
To those many, many friends who didn't hesitate to phone and visit, leave food and notes.
Thank you.
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